Oregairu Volume 11,5
by KungFuIndi
Summary: Immediately following after the events of the second season, the service club's sees that their second year of high school ends, while another is on the verge of beginning. With winter ending, what problems await? How will they fix what's left? And can Hachiman find what he seeks to be genuine?
1. Prolouge - A Request, With No Solution

**Prologue ~ A Request, With No Solution**

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 **NOTE:**

 **Hello. My name is KungFuIndian and im a huge fan of Yahari like all of you. This is my first fanfic of yahari and I hope I can write more chapters in the future. If you like what you read please follow, and review, stating what you like or even what you don't like. I aim to please.**

 **This volume is suppose to tell what happens towards the end of the service club's second year of high school, as well as the beginning of a new year for our characters.**

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Requests come with expectations. Anyone who has one expects it to come through, one way or another. That was what the service club was about. We were expected to carry through, to find a solution, despite the circumstances.

I hated the concept to begin with. It was not only ridiculous but illogical. Forcing each others' ideals on everyone else, trying to see in their perspective of why their wants were important. Why they were entitled to such beliefs, and the gratitude of having those fulfilled was the only thing on their mind.

While I wouldn't consider myself considerate, but more realistic with something like this in mind. For when people made these requests, no one considered the outcome of what it would do to others. To expect that things would just, play out in their mind is silly. It's not only inconsiderate but naïve on there part. And if you think people took this into consideration, you'd be surprised. I wasn't surprised, because I didn't expect people to be compassionate. Everyone is ugly underneath, and everyone thinks there being compassionate, just as I think im being compassionate telling the truth right now. But there will be those who disagree of course, and that's the whole irony of these requests.

Don't get me wrong, I could care less of what the requests did to people. In the end the only reason why I was there was due to an uncanny teacher that thought she was doing me a favor. It only made me develop bonds, reluctantly of course. In the end, it wasn't even my decision to make.

With that being said, these requests, it broke us, hurt us, and made us question things we never bothered to question or even think about in our lives. And thus, why my search for something genuine would also carry through like many other request we've solved. In this case a request, yet to be solved. One however, that was still justified.

Sadly, my search for something genuine, may not have a solution. And regardless of how bad I wanted it, or even how bad Yuigahama and Yukinoshita wanted it, I felt deep down we all knew what the solution was to my request. But we would never bother to say it loud. We couldn't. Afterall, it's what we were trying to avoid all this time.

And thus, this is why I say, still to this day. That youth is a lie. And it is nothing but evil. Youth only favors those who come to aspire of what youth does best. You have to be at the center of youth to get the most out of it, and if you aren't getting the most out of it, you might as well not be in it what so ever.

But of course, the biggest liar was me. For even I am a user of youth, and that makes me just as idiotic as the rest. For even wishing something of a genuine nature, oh, how I am fool to think that my logic is different then those of what I despise.

That is why. I hate myself.

The solution to my request, for it is something that I dearly want, and both something I incredibly fear, because it is something I ultimately despise. And yet at the same time, I do not know what it is.

To which, I ask myself everyday.

What is this genuine thing that I speak of?

Will I…ever find it?

Hell, who's to say I already haven't?

* * *

With the snow raining on us on that fateful day, who would think that it would come to this? No one expected it because no one bothered to say anything. But ever since that day, when we all opened up, when I told them both that I wanted something genuine, perhaps Yuigahama felt that it was just as important to say what was needed, just as I did. Perhaps now we thought that it wasn't right to just stay silent. We all knew it didn't solve anything, but we were to scared to come out with it. We didn't want to admit to our faults, we were afraid of trying to make each other understand our perspective, cause we all knew we had our own, and we all knew we would stick by it. But that didn't change Yuigahama wanting to tell us that day when the snow was falling so graciously.

By saying she wanted everything, and that she'll do whatever it takes, of course she wouldn't be specific about anything. If she did things would of become…complicated. For whether or not Yukinoshita understood what she was saying, I did. And what she wanted was both vulgar, disgusting, but devastatingly evil in its own way. It wasn't like I expected Yuigahama's subconscious feelings to be opposite of that of what she tries to be. The nice cheerful girl, who's always smiling and spreads happiness with a big heart. For anyone who does this, you expect them already to be wearing a mask. And that fateful day, Yuigahama decided to take her mask off, and tell us how she really felt deep down.

So obviously, I had to reject her proposal. I had to decline her request. With respect of what she wanted, I know that for me, if things were like that, it wouldn't be real. Forget anything about genuine, or what I even wanted, it would just feel fake and horrible. Even though, Yukinoshita deserves that her insecurity be dealt with, yui's solution would of just made things worse. So I stand by those words of saying "No". Still to this day.

And what followed, not necessarily unexpected. But surprising nonetheless. The smart and beautiful Yukinoshita made a request, a request that I wouldn't imagine hearing from her. I thought of her as a strong, independent woman who didn't lie. And who could take the pain she has dealt with over the years, and stand by it. Whether it be the people who disliked her for her genius, or sister tormenting her, I appreciated, and wanted to believe that Yukinoshita was that of someone who could handle the pain and become something stronger. Someone untouchable, not bounded by others opinions or ideals but standing by her own ideals.

But I was wrong. Because on that day, she made a request.

"I want…to become independent. I want to make my own decisions. I want to be Yukinoshita Yukino."

As she stammered, it was not only unexpected but rather. Disappointing. I felt sad and angry, because I once again pushed my own ideals on Yukinoshita Yukino. I wanted to think that my image of her was true. But it wasn't. Deep down Yukinoshita was lost, and needed our help to become who she was meant to be.

But if I'm being honest?

I don't have the ability to do that. What I wanted Yukinoshita to be, and whether she was that were two different things. One must simply BE that. You can't become that strong unless you simply think it. Something that Yukinoshita might be capable of, but something I don't know I could make her be.

After such a request, not only was there a silence, but the average brained Yuigahama Yui was puzzled by such a request. And to be fair, it was puzzling. "I want to be Yukinoshita Yukino." For that was the case, then who was she all this time? Someone else? Or perhaps, was she trying to be someone she herself didn't know? It would make sense considering that her sister, Haruno, was something of not of an inspiration to Yukino, but someone praised for her own existence. Resulting in Yukino's existence, strangely not being justified. With years going by and having to be reminded of how well balanced, successful and amazing her sister is, it would make sense that Yukino felt lost somewhere along the way. And questioned who she really was if she couldn't be herself. Her, being an imitation of her sister would make sense. Something that I despise. Cause Yukino was fine the way she is. I honestly, liked Yukino for who she was. Or was that wrong of me? Because maybe...all this time…she was trying to be her sister? And I, unintentionally, liked her for that.

Puzzled, Yui questioned, "What…what do you mean..Yukinon?" as expected. While I again chose to say nothing, I didn't even know what she was getting at. With Yukino herself saying,

"I….I don't really know what I said. But. If I were to put it into words. That's." She stammered and paused at first but then continued to reason.

"That is my request."

Of course after everything that happened, with my own reasoning's of doing what I did, with everyone else's reasoning's and decisions that were made, we couldn't deny Yukinoshita's request. She deserved to have it fulfilled. We all deserved our requests to be solved. And we all knew that it wouldn't be easy solving them.

Acknowledging Yukinshita's request, we said our goodbyes and hoped to see each other again at school. With the month of Febuary coming to its end any time soon, it wouldn't be too soon till our third year of high school started. What people would we be? What would happen in this next year? And would our own requests, as well as, relationship as trio, develop? Would it blossom? Would it get worse from here on out?

I don't know the answer to that. You can never know, because you will never know what the future holds. You can only wish, something that I didn't do, but something I found myself doing after that day. And if it was something that I wished didn't happen, I didn't want this to happen.

I didn't want things to end where I end up with someone, or we split up as a group due to the tension of awkward unrealistic lust between the three of us. I didn't want this to end, like how every other romance anime you see on tv end. I want there to be a solution where we all end up happy. Where we can all be ourselves and smile at the end of the day because we finally grasped on something genuine.

Perhaps, that's what was I looking for. Something genuine, maybe just means, something that's real, in terms of, real happiness for all three of us. With no tears or sadness, but just fulfillment for something working out.

If its anything worth wishing for, its that, and that alone. But. A request like that doesn't have an easy solution.

But. Is it worth struggling to find? That's a decision I never really made. But one I made indefinitely without noticing. It wasn't even mind to make, cause what I wanted, was once again forcing my own ideals to those of Yuigahama and Yukinoshita. For I expected that what I wanted was something we all wanted in the end.

But that's where I'm wrong. And that's what makes me idiotic like the rest of those who made requests to the club.

That is why. I hate myself.

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 **Note: This is an introductory chapter to set the tone. Chapter 1 gets into actual story development.**

 **Thank you to those who have reviewed, followed and favorite. It means alot. 3**


	2. Chapter 1: Thoughts That Are Reality

**Chapter 1 –Thoughts that are Reality**

 _ **"We think, we struggle, we agonize in hopes that something will come out of it. But when we have it, that's when we'll really lose ourselves."**_

 **FEBUARY 12TH 2013**

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A flicker of the sound of waving branches wakens me from outside. Not only rare for me to get up at the time of 3:34 AM, but rather strange of what was left in my mind as soon as I woke up. Sometimes, I wish that I could sleep, and stay asleep forever.

The night became clearer, and memories of before flood back into my mind. What has happened throughout this year, the things I did, didn't do but should of, or things that perhaps I shouldn't have done in the first place. It was all coming back. And of course, the reminder of a request left with no solution or answers in near sight.

Suddenly, I started to think more of Yukinoshita's request, its significance, its purpose. Yukinoshita wanted to know who she was. More importantly, she simply wanted to be herself. A reasonable request of course, but something not easily solvable. After all, none of our own requests were.

Realizing quickly with what was going through my mind, I decided that I couldn't sleep until I cleared my head a bit. That wasn't going to happen just lying in bed, coffee, and perhaps a quick game of angry birds would swerve my mind where it needed to be.

While preparing coffee, I checked my phone, and noticed a strange notification, forI received a text from a number I didn't recognize. Perhaps it was strange considering I only had 7 contacts on my phone, 5 consisting of family members and the other two being Yuigahama and Totsukua…so with that being, said any number was strange to me. But it was strange, as the number I sort of recognized. I open the notification curiously, only to realize it was the sneaky annoying fox, Isshki Irohas texting me. How pleasant. Just what I needed to get my head in the right way of thinking.

Perhaps it was a text asking for my opinion on whether Hayato liked something that had no relevance towards anything, "Hey, Senpai, do you think Hayato would like this color of a dress?" or "Hey, Senpai, what do you think Hayato prefers, cats or dogs?". Or maybe it was some rhetorical statement that she already knew the answer to, but asked just to annoy me. I swear, I'm perhaps the only one Isshki will show her true colors to. I still didn't understand why she would ask ME these things about Hayato. I'm not even friends with him!

Rather an unexpected text, with it being of a "Senpai, meet me after school near the gates!" following with a happy cat emoji. Despite how frisky and adorable the cat emoji looked, it didn't help me question from the very beginning. Why was Isshki texting me? Only time she ever did was when we went on that hangout, but I wouldn't understand why she would text me for anything else. Perhaps, it was once again research for Hayato, or maybe something she needed that I had to take responsibility for as I made her become president. But both of those things she would approach the club, for instead, she wanted to meet me personally. And why the gates? Wasn't that the place where we had those meetings with that school for the Christmas celebration? Yes. That's right. Mr. Hands with his "logical thinking to think logically" logic came back to me. And Orimoto constantly interrupting with her "That's the thing!" phrase. I give a small chuckle, choke on coffee in my mouth as the thought passes, and cough out what little coffee happened to enter my trachea. _Gross indeed. I blame you isshki!_

After replying with an "Okay" to her text, I began to think again with the original thought at hand. But suddenly realized that really there was no point. I wasn't going to find a solution to Yukinshita's request in a one night sitting, because I didn't know all the details, and I had to consider various things before I even began to understand the request altogether. For even though the request was "I want to be Yukinsohtia Yukino" when you think about it, it felt as if she was asking "I want to be free of the trap that I have been placed in". Almost as if it was a call for help.

When considering her broken family, her sister and mother, and even her father who I haven't met yet, it would make sense that she didn't know who she was, but there was something further enabling her to feel that way. And something made me feel as if it wasn't just her sister constantly tormenting her, but something that she hasn't told us, perhaps, something she doesn't how to tell us.

And then, a memory from before came flushing in with another sip of coffee in the dark, that time when Yukinoshita tugged my jacket when we went down the drop of that ride, "Save me sometime. Okay?" The words began to echo in my mind and I realized that those words had more meaning then I ever thought. It was obvious that Yukinoshita wanted me to be the person who solves her problem, it was obvious that she wanted to depend on me. But thinking about it more, I WAS the only one she could depend on.

But, can she? I don't even know the answer to my own request. And any other request came to me using methods she would disapprove of. She knew that, but maybe, she didn't care. If it meant finding herself or her being able to escape the trap she is in, maybe she wouldn't care how extreme my method was in solving it, or my method of solving it in general.

Can I really hold up to her standards? Do I. Even want to?

* * *

Another day of school begins, and before I knew it, the same routine happened. I sat where I usually sat for homeroom. With Hayato and his clique talking about the usual, and airless scenarios that held nothing of interest, instead annoying me. They always occupied some part of my brain. it was strange as I did not see Yuigahama, to which a sudden "Yahello!" came to my ears, opposite to where I was looking.

Startled, I sort of jumped in my chair and let out a small "ehk!", rarely did Yuigahama scare me, but it was unexpected because I didn't even see her.

"Morning...Hikki! Hehe…did I scare you?" she said so joyfully. Sometimes I wondered why she talked to me every morning. It wasn't like our conversations went into anything interesting, but it wasn't like I minded the small talk, so I didn't bother to question it. I just never understood why we did it.

"Ugh…it's been a while since I jumped from a scare like that." I replied.

When was the last time even? Oh yeah. That time when Hayato and I went on a date with those two girls. And we watched that god awful boring romance chick flick. Why did that film even have explosions to begin with? I bet Orimoto is still laughing about that.

"Hehe! You know, I haven't really seen you scared before. Oh!…there was that one time when we were in that haunted palace in Kyoto. That was pretty creepy."

Totsuka suddenly came, and joined our conversation.

"Oh-hi-o!" He said with a bright smile on his face. Kawaii! I want to protect that smile! Perhaps it is the only thing I look forward to every morning now when I come to school…

"Ohh! Hello Sai-chan!" Yui replied

"What are you guys doing?" Totsuka questioned.

"Eugh?! N-nothing really. We were talking about the Kyoto trip, when we all went in that spooky house." Yui replied.

"Oh, I remember! That was a lot of fun!" Totsukua replied.

"From what I remember Totsukua, you weren't really scared were you?" I questioned.

"No. I like creepy things."

How does one even like that type of thing? What if Totsuka secretly has some weird fetishes and likes, would that even fit into his character? Suddenly I started picturing Totsukua secretly being some mage plotting to destroy this school with some destructive god spells.

"It was so scary though! I got so scared, I almost hurt Hikki pretty bad a-Oh!"

Yuigahamas eyes somewhat widened, as the memory of something came back. And suddenly she started to blush.

Puzzled at first, I didn't understand what she was blushing about. Then I remembered. She was blushing of that time when I reached my hand for her after she brutally head butted nose from a scare. That still hurt to this day. Before I knew it, I was slightly blushing too.

"hmm? What is it Yui-chan?" Totsuka asked.

"N..nothing, I just remembered that uh, class was starting soon, I should get back to my seat!"

Of course she wanted to cover her feelings. Logically it would make sense to do so anyways. Before she left, I interrupted,

"Oh yeah. Yuigahama-san, I'm probably not going to be at club today."

"Huh? Why's that?"

"Isshki-san wants to talk to me about something. In private apparently. "I further explained.

"Private? About…what?"

"No idea. Probably regarding student council. I can't see it being anything else."

"Oh…okay. I'll tell Yukinon." She said so disappointingly, as if she wanted me there.

"Hikki…Don't do things alone again…okay?" she smiled with a slight sad expression as she said this. I didn't know what to say, so I gave a small nod, acknowledging what she said.

In reality, we never said it, but somehow, I felt we all agreed that we didn't want things to end up the way they did. Things would complicate when we began to act independently on certain requests and issues. When I started to help isshki independently, it only made things worse. Something, perhaps I should tell Isshki from now on. Any request to me, is something the club should do. But, I was held responsible for her becoming president, a responsibility that I felt was mine to take alone. Not Yukinoshita, not Yuigahama, but myself and myself only. So maybe, me helping Irohas independently, on a personal level was justified. Or maybe I'm making the same mistake as I did before.

Throughout the day, I couldn't help but wonder whether Yuigahama's whole act of the nice girl she portrayed, was something I could take seriously anymore. After she revealed what it was she dearly wanted, it was hard to really say what I could or couldn't take seriously to be honest. Perhaps it was something Yuigahama knew all along, and acknowledges that it's a fault in her character. Perhaps that's why she smiled, and was relieved when I opposed her request of helping Yukinoshita. But the truth is we will never know unless we say it aloud. Something that perhaps we're not afraid to do anymore, and something that I still am not sure if I'm ready for. But smiles from Yuigahama were something I always questioned, questioned of whether it really was her true nature. But the fact that I wanted to believe in her act just showed how lost I even was. I began to depend on that niceness, a niceness that I hated. To which now, I wish I still did.

* * *

As the day came to an end, I was waiting for Irohas by the gate. Making me wait 10 minutes, I dreamed of going home and curling up into bed with the company of just my pillow and blanket. School is exhausting! And this girl was preventing me from going home living my dream. Damn you Isshki.

Afar I saw from a distance that she was entering the convenience store, and saw me from afar as well. Greeting me with a smile and a big wave, she gave me a gesture to come inside the convivence store with her. This girl was pure nonsense. First she makes me wait 10 minutes, now she wants me to go in the store with her and do some snack shopping? She'll probably make me buy her a pop and say I should due to my "responsibility". That's a card she can't keep using. How annoying.

I enter the store and see Irohas looking in the cooler section, examining what appeared to be, juice. (Not pop!? I always took her for a cream soda lover.)

"I hope you don't expect me to buy you anything." I said as I approached her.

"Oh…senpai, I didn't want to walk across the street, it's easier if guys approach you and not the other way around."

"Oh right. The guy must suffer by walking all the way across the street, attending what appears to be snack shopping. Don't mind the fact that I waited 10 minutes for you." I replied.

"heh. Exactly!" she replied back.

This girl was pure nonsense indeed!

As we exited the convenience store I couldn't help but wonder why she dragged me out here, to which I further questioned.

"As much as I appreciate you tormenting me with the waiting, I have to ask, what is it that you need?"

She sits at near by bench taking a peach strawberry flavored juice box out of the bag, to which she begins sipping, and lets out a deep sigh.

"Huhhh….being president is tough. How did I get you to convince me to become President senpai!"

Of course, annoying me as she evaded the question, Isshki was annoying as ever complaining of the elegit positon she was in. I thought at first, that was the reason she called me.

"huh. Is that what this is about? I don't see why you wouldn't just approach the club about this." I Inquired.

"No, no. That's not what this is about. I guess you could say its something…more complicated?"

"Complicated?" Just how is any request from the foxy Irohas complicated? If anything its ridiculous and bothersome.

She nods her head and then continues to talk

"Well. It involves the upcoming ski trip."

The ski trip? Since when did we do ski trips? Oh, that's right. I do remember going to a ski trip. Once in middle school.

"Oh. That makes sense. As a president, you're required to help around the event."

"That's true. I have to host games, help around the ski lodge, and set up community gatherings. But, Senpai, that's not why I asked to meet with you either."

Something that I don't think Irohas minded. She was a social girl afterall. Events like these would enlighten her youth, and with Hayato she'd be having the time of her life. What exactly would she need me for?

"So. What do you need me for?"

"Well…Hayato is going to the event, along with the majority of the other classes being the 10th and 11th grade…so"

She trailed off as if the other classes that were going was bad. Of course, it wasn't possible that they both could go together alone. But knowing Isshki, I wouldn't be surprised if thats what she implied. She WAS madly in love with Hayato. Unlike every cute freshman, Isshki initiated and wanted to do something about it. Props to her for taking initiate. Props to Hayato for rejecting her? I'm not Hayato, I don't know what his standards are. Probably doesn't even any.

"Well, at least you can be together with Hayato for a few days." I said, looking at the positive. Forcefully of course.

"That's true. But."

It was on the tip of her tongue, she couldn't get the words out.

"Hayama likes someone. Someone with a name that starts with…"Y"."

Wait. What? What in the hell? How does she know that?

"Senpai. I want to find out…who that is."

 **END OF CHAPTER 1**

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 **Authors Note: There are most likely alot of errors in not just grammar, but in terms of plot as I feel that it isn't at its best. I'll most likely further update this chapter as I go on, for I do ask that anyone who's read up to this point to give their thoughts in a review, or even favorite/follow for upcoming chapters. And thank you to those who have done so already. It means alot!**


	3. Chapter 2: Irohas Never Withdraws

**Chapter 2 – Irohas Never Withdraws**

 _ **"I wanted the real thing. But I was stupid to think I was the only one. I was just as idiotic as the rest of them, who wanted something more."**_

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I was brutally confused as to how she even knew of the mysterious y character that Hayama presumably liked, but what more took my interest was Isshki's reaction to such a rumor. While playfully sipping her juice, she had a determination in her eyes that made me feel as if that she took this very, very seriously. Almost as if she wanted to kill this mysterious y character.

"Uh. Well…how do you even know that?" _I asked curiously, with a bit of worry in my voice._

"Does it really matter how I found out?" _she answered._

To be fair, it didn't, I knew from the start that nothing would stop Isshki from having her dream boyfriend, even when he flat out rejected her at the panda amusement park it only gave her more reason to pursue. But, the problem was that of course, Isshki was madly in love with Hayama. And she didn't understand, or perhaps she did but didn't care, that she was slowly killing herself due to her love for him.

"No. It doesn't. But with that being said, the rumor itself doesn't matter now, does it?" _I reasoned._

"Uh? Well…?" _She said with no words left to say._

"It doesn't change how Hayama felt for you in the first place. All you know is what his.."type" is. Which really means nothing. It'd be pretty silly to imitate that type, you want Hayama to like you for you. It would only makes sense."

After all, Isshki's "type" was that of her trying to be cute with every word or thing that came out of her mouth. But no, you'll never see her act that way towards me. Naturally everyone would like that type!

"Yeah. You have a point. But still!" she said so uplifting her voice from a serious to a somewhat cheerful tone.

"Us girls compete for the things we want. Senpai!, I have to know what im competing against." _She said with fierce determination._

I sigh deeply having to hear all this nonsense. How would I be of any help to this girl, I haven't had the slightest idea of who the mysterious y character was, and I honestly didn't care. Knowing didn't even help the scenario. If anything it made more difficult and bothersome.

"That is why, senpai, I need your help!" _she cried._

"With what? How could I help you? You want me to ask every person in the school with the last and/or first name that starts with "Y" ?" _I asked annoyed._

There was a brief silence and a somewhat uncomfortable expression on isshki's face, as if that's what she was expecting. Indeed, this girl was pure nonsense indeed!

"Well, that would help. But even if you did you wouldn't get anywhere. Your eyes would creep out most of them." _She said snobbishly._

And here I was wondering when she would make fun of the eyes. All the girls mention the eyes. "Your eyes look disgusting!" they'll say. "Ew your eyes are rotting!" they'll say. At least my eyes have uniqueness to them. Everyone else's eyes look the same!

"But, I know there are two girls with the name of Y that don't mind the sight of your eyes, Senpai!" _she said as her voice enlightened._

Wait. What? There's a girl that exists that doesn't mind the sight of my eyes? Well there is Komachi… but her name doesn't start with Y. She couldn't be talking about those two.

"Yuigahama-Senpai, and Yukisnohita-Senpai! Obviously!" Are you kidding me? Yukinoshita hates the sight of my eyes. She reminds me everyday how disgusting there are. Well, maybe not Yuigahama as much. No, she did make fun of my eyes the first time we made conversation!

"Oh. Right. So that's what you need me to do. You want me to see if Hayama likes one of the two?" _I questioned._

"Yes! That is why, you're all going to the ski trip with us this weekend!" _She argued._

Wait, what!? I didn't sign up for this!

"Woah-wait…hang on a second! You really don't expec-" _I argued back._

"You owe it to me, Senpai! You said you would take responsibility!" _She interrupted._

"For presidential matters! Not your love life! Wait, I didn't even say I would take responsibility either!" Again, why ask ME of all people!? I'm the last person that needs to be asked of this.

"Say there is even some truth to this rumor, something that isn't a fact but merely a rumor, how does that change anything? Or even help you for that matter?"

I hear a great sigh from Isshki, as if she was disappointed with what I said.

"You've…never been in love before Senpai. I don't expect you to understand." Of course, assume I've never experienced such lust why don't you. However, she was right, I haven't experienced anything close to Isshki, partly because what she's talking about doesn't even exist. At a time maybe once I believed in such romance existing in this world. Then I wised up…and became a loner because of it.

"Yeah. I don't understand because what you're feeling is something simply made up. Not real in the slightest." I said.

"Then, what IS real for you? Senpai?" she said with a slight anger.

Of course I was expecting that reaction, to which a reaction I didn't know how to respond to. Of course I didn't know what the real thing for me was, if I did I probably wouldn't be here, let alone in the service club. But for Isshki to say that her lust for Hayama, someone who doesn't even know HIMSELF of who he is, isn't the love that Isshki claims to have. Love is simply a term for one who IS in mad lust. Anything more us humans can't comprehend to understand we feel. But an argument like this purely subjective and biased out of my own personal, realistic experience. So, to be fair, I didn't understand what Isshki was going through, because I've already come to terms to what she hasn't yet. I don't believe in "love" because I've known from the very moment I witnessed it, that it was all hogwash.

"I know the real thing isn't some mad lust for someone. But something…" _I tried to reason once again with her, but of course it ended up now where._

"I don't even know. Something that profounds what it means to even experience anything meaningful. But at the same time you don't mind that freshness, cause it sets you at ease. You're not afraid of various perspectives or illogical consistencies because you simply disagree with someone. Rather, something that's more then just that of seeing a side. But, just understanding it because it exists, and being okay with that. " At its best, that's what I could say, if I were to put it into words.

"Senpai...what..did you just say?" As expected, she didn't understand a word I said. Hell, I didn't even understand a word I said.

"Well, say what you want. But. My love for Hayama isn't fake. I guarantee! What he likes, what he dislikes. Why he wakes up in the morning, his purpose in life. What makes him laugh, cry, and feel joy. I find myself thinking only those things now." _She said as she tried to reason._

"If that isn't love. What is?"

What isshki said wasn't untrue. To like someone dearly enough where you're obsessed, can't simply be called "lust", but calling it something more was just as wrong. If such a connection exists beyond boundaries to where even the one you "love" should feel the same way as said with loves philosophy, why would Hayama reject her? The logic of love, and why it existed wasn't justified because it didn't make any sense. Instead, rather awkwardly placed in difficult relationship situations, due to our inability to understand what we feel when we're in madly in lust.

"I want…to be with Hayama. I want to hold his hand. To kiss him, and for him to hold me and do the same. To feel the same way I feel for him. That's why. If finding out who he likes is one step closer to that, I'll take it. Every, little bit counts." _She continued to reason._

"And that's why, Senpai, I need your help! If I made a request like this to the service club, how strange would it be for Yuigahama and Yukinoshita? They're the ones that need to be inspected just like everyone else!"

Although what Isshki wanted was ridiculous within itself, there was one thing that Isshki wasn't taking in consideration, something perhaps that I, chose to ignore while she spouted of how her love for Hayama was so important. Isshki was assuming that things would work out, like many others who made requests. She wasn't thinking what would happen, if they didn't.

"You know. Isshki. What if this ends the way you don't want it to?"

Her head then turned to me while her eyes glimmered in the snowy atmosphere. For Isshki once again, had a shining determination in her eyes, it wasn't just the type of eyes that said "I won't take no for an answer." But rather, "I know I'll succeed no matter what." And that's what pissed me off the most.

Take it from one who's experienced the joys and luxuries of rejection and anything similar, rejection is unexpected, cold, and devastating to say the least. It tears you apart internally, and you wish that you weren't so stupid that get yourself in that position. It was because of rejection I grew to hate the concept of believing in anything more. But perhaps that is why I dearly wanted something genuine. Consciously I hated the idea. Subconsciously I never got rid of it. But rather I came to terms to reality and accepted it. Isshki's fantasy was once again, not considering a realistic alternative, an alternative that doesn't have a 50/50 chance, perhaps even more likely.

Suddenly, memories of me confessing to Orimoto began to come back and I was lost in the words of a saddened scenario. before I knew it, I was getting yelled at however.

"SENPAI! QUIT STARING AT ME!" Irohas yelled.

"Eugh! I didn't mean to stare! Y-you were taking long to answer." I immediately look away, agitated more then ever.

"I answered 10 seconds ago, but you once again kept staring. Your eyes ARE really gross."

Damn you Isshki, again with the eyes!

"Well sorry. I was considering the real world and thinking what it would be like if another rejection happened."

"Well, if you were paying attention instead staring off into space, you would hear my answer."

"Oh. And what's that?"

"Huh. Senpai, quit acting dumb. Have I ever said this entire time that I want to confess to Hayama again?"

True. She didn't. I guess I just assumed she would of.

"...Well no. Why would you? You already confessed." _I answered, realizing how ridiculous my own assumption was._

"Exactly! Jeez senpai, I thought you were smarter then this!"

Exactly what gave her the idea that I was smart in any of this? I didn't do this on my freewill. It wasn't like I had to think for this situation to work out.

"Well if you remember last time, you were the one to get carried away in the moment. I wouldn't be surprised if that happened again. Watch. Probably a moment where you're with Hayama on the ski lift, sitting next to him, watching the sun come to end on a beautiful day. You'll think "What a moment to confess! To reveal my feelings! Again!". Or another moment where the hot-chocolate melts from your mouth while you sit across Hayama, acting cool as he ever does. Making some dumb comment of how cute you are with whip cream on the top of your lip, which you didn't notice as you sipped. Cause you were too busy doing what? Oh. Yeah. Staring at his dreamy eyes." _I said with confidence._

"Eugh! Stop it already…" _she said annoyed._

"I could go on. Not like I've seen every scenario."

I have. At the middle school ski trip. That wasn't a fun time.

"If it's not a confession, then it's a connection, something that you simply want to nurture and grow stronger. And if it is that, well. In the end what can I say. It's your request. I have to do it. Not like I can say no or Hiratsuka-Sensei will give me her last flashing bullet punch." _I said getting up from the bench, getting ready to take my leave._

"Hm! Well good. I already talked to Hiratsuka sensei! The whole service club is going anyways! She got your tickets prepared as we were talking...I hope." _She said arrogantly._

Again. Does my say matter in any of this? Of course not. It never does.

"Well. What am I suppose to tell those two? It's not like I can include them on this request now, can I?" _I asked._

"Don't worry Senpai! I'll come up with something tomorrow to tell them. Till then you just have to keep your mouth shut!" _She answered furiously._

"Are you serious? Listen. As much as I like keeping these personal requests we have with one another, the last time it…"

Why. Why didn't I finish my sentence? Did I not want to make Isshki the subject of what happened last time? Was I too nice to tell her that she was the problem? That she was the cause of what happened for these problems to occur? Part of it was the too nice. But the other part was wrong. It wasn't because I was too nice to not tell her, but I was too nice, and stupid enough to think that this would seemly work out, and that I wouldn't have to ever think of the idea of things falling apart from another personal request. But as I saw it, I was already in way over my head. And in the end, if they really found out, it wasn't like the world was going to end.

Then again, the world ends every day. What difference does it really make?

"The last time…what Senpai?" _she asked curiously._

I take a deep sigh and try to brush off what I said, and instead pursue with an excuse.

"Nothing. The last time I handled a personal request, things didn't turn out great. I mean, I needed more help was the problem." My excuse coming from the building across from us, being the building where we discussed the meetings of the Christmas celebration.

"Oh yeah. Those meetings after all weren't the best of meetings. That's for sure. But as dull as those times were, I enjoyed them."

"Enjoyed them? What part of it did you enjoy?" _I asked._

"Well Senpai, it's the same reason why I brought you out here to convenience store. " _She answered._

 _"I don't see what you're getting at." Confused as ever._

She then exhales deeply. "I guess I have to spell it out for you." _She said disappointingly._

"Senpai. You're boring. But regardless."

"Whether it be a meeting in that building, or here on a bench sipping juice. I…like spending my time with you." a soft, innocent, and warm smile came with what words seemed natural to Isshki. As if she was relieved to finally get that off her chest. Of course making me question if she really meant it.

"Well. It's not like I DON'T enjoy our time together." _I replied trying to savor the moment._

"Eugh! Are you trying to hit on me again! Sorry but I'm into someone else!" _She said as she always did._

"You know what I meant! Do you enjoy trapping me or something!?" How many times must I get rejected by this girl!?

"Also, Senpai, that reminds me. Don't try win points with me anymore! Like how you always tried to hold my bag for me, I'll make sure moments like those don't happen on our ski trip!" as she held her store bag in front of me, shaking it as she said this prove her point.

"…I wasn't in the first place." _I said with a dead expression._

"hmmph! Like I believe you." _She said deviously._

"I don't care if you do." _I said again with a dead expression._

She gave a small giggle threw away the bag, and the started heading home in the opposite direction. From afar I saw her off, to which she turned around after walking a decent distance and yelled.

"Hikigaya-Senpai! I look forward to the ski trip with you….and the club!" _she panicked towards the end of the sentence._

Why panic and include that last part. I guess it would be awkward if she was just looking forward to me being on the trip. I didn't even want to be on this trip and yet here I am, in a situation I brought myself in somehow. Why do I have a feeling the god of rom-coms is setting something up? Like he always does. He's incredibly stupid, creating pointless shenanigans that don't even lead to any proper development. However, as I thought of this, I played along, gave a small grin, and tossed a huge wave right back at her. I didn't mind the spice in my life.

Actually, thats a lie. I did.

* * *

While Isshki was blind in her love, it was very clear that nothing was going to stop her from her quest to obtain the statue of Hayato Hayama. Although I didn't believe in things that exceeded what was existed and known to be lust, I started to believe that whatever Isshki believed in would somehow get her what she wanted. She was fierce, determined, and ultimately deserved what she asked for, for with enough compassion anything is possible. She deserved it merely because of how badly she wanted it. As stupid as it sounds, it was right to every meaning.

Regardless, what people get, compared to what they deserve, exists a ratio that is of nothing towards that actual value. For I wouldn't say I was expecting their to be misery on Isshki finding the truth, but rather, I didn't think it would give her much joy. But like others, and like me, the real thing for her was soon in her grasp. And she would stop at nothing to have it.

With this in perspective, it didn't matter to me what existed to be her real thing. Because she was willing to do anything for do it, even it meant finding a name that held no relevance to anything, and I couldn't help but have respect for such determination. After all, a simple cry for something genuine behind closed doors, inspired her to do such a thing, and take such a step forward. I guess in a way I was responsible due to me inspiring her.

So from the corner of where I am, to the world at where you are at the center, hoping for nothing but the your wish for something genuine come true. I root for you…Isshki Irohas, no matter how ridiculous of what you see to be genuine.

With that in mind, it'd be nice to think that as I watched her walk home, as the atmosphere from slight breeze with the season came to sunny shallow air, that beautiful to breathe in. However, the most unsettling thought then came to mind.

Isshki Irohas, liked Hayato Hayama, for the same reasons why everyone liked Hayato Hayama. He was confident, dreamy, good-looking, athetlic, and always kind, caring to heart. He was everyones Hayato Hayama.

But that wasn't the true Hayato Hayama. No, that was simply a mask, like Isshiki Irohas mask, like Yuigahama's mask. Yet he persists to act a role. A role that perhaps he was destined to play, and never break out of. Decieving people and making them believe in something that was simply not real. Perhaps this could be said just for Hayama. But, it really went for all of them. They were ALL lies stacked up upon lies. It's thoughts like these that make me question, make me wonder, and make me conclude a thought that eventually turns into a fact.

The real thing, doesn't exist.

* * *

 **END OF CHAPTER 2 (NOTE: THE ORIGINAL NAME TO CHAPTER 2 WAS "IROHAS NEVER WITHDRAWS" I got the titles switch. (my bad.)**

 **Authors Note: Well another chapter concluded. I think the problem im seeing with writing is that I feel im not taking each character in perspective, in other words, I feel im not being true to each character, mainly hachiman. Feel free to comment in a review discussing my take on the characters, I respect and appreciate all opinions.**

 **Again, for those who've made this far and have kept reading, feel free to favorite, follow and review (review especially) what you like, what I could improve on, etc. I aim to please as I've stated before, every little bit helps. And once again, A HUGE thank you to those who've done so already.**

 **With that being said, until next time.**

 **Progress for Chapter 3: Haven't started..**


	4. Chapter 3 - Truth He Chooses To Avoid

**Chapter 3 – Truth He Chooses To Avoid**

" _ **Retaliation, I wasn't afraid of. Conviction beyond limits, beyond subconscious morals. And finally, personal subjective, an opinion to make a difference. That was what was more sinister beyond anything. Self- Retaliation, self-doubt, and a reason not to care. I don't want to change. I want to allow myself, to believe in something more."**_

* * *

Work is for the weak. Something I always believed. Once you allow yourself to put in pointless effort with no immediate reward you're losing. It is a wrong way to live your life and one I try to avoid as much as possible. Yet here I was still working my ass off, caring to a girl who wanted nothing more but the firm grip of a dreamy boy in between her fingers. What was the sense in even chasing something that was doomed for failure since the start?

I wanted to believe that perhaps her willingness to want something more made it reasonable, but when you began to consider Hayato Hayama as a person, it only made less and less sense. He wasn't one to share the same belief for such awkward and imaginary love, something surprisingly I didn't expect. But to live more with the edge on your seat is just as bad as believing in something not real. He had a right to his beliefs regardless if it was within his character.

With that being said, no one had the slightest idea of who Hayato Hayama really was. And I didn't seem to care. When it was requested I applied the basic logic of human emotion, and in a way it back-fired, but it wasn't as if he was unreadable. Just rather unexpected.

Hayato Hayama felt inferior to the great and pessimistic entity known as Hikigaya Hachiman, and I not only was I confused to such a belief but rather frustrated for it purely existing. He felt inferior because I was willing to say what was on my mind regardless of what toxicity it withheld, and for that reason alone is why he hated, and both felt inferior towards me. I would say things that he would never say, even though he wanted to so badly. I said the truth and came to terms with such beliefs and values. I chose to believe in a world where the ugliness only exists. He didn't like me not because it was a difference in perspective. He didn't like me because I reminded him of the truth. A truth he knew, and one he tried so desperately to avoid, but ultimately in the end never could.

"I compliment you for my own sake." Perhaps to fix a shatter in his mask that he tries to keep on. Little did he know that his mask had a huge split in between. Sad that it took him so long to notice. No wonder he felt so inferior. Even though if I was the only one that saw through this crack, a long time ago.

A request was a request, I couldn't do much about it. I was in this situation, one that I so indecently put myself in. Perhaps Isshki is to blame? Ah. Who knows anymore. With roughly 20 minutes having gone by with my time with Isshki, I decided to break the news to the club with 40 minutes of club time remaining. Funny, before I probably would have just used this opportunity to ditch club and get home early to catch some Z's. Now, I didn't hesitate, but chose to go back to club. Rather strange how things work out. But I guess change is inevitable. For at first my life was that of living a life of a loner, to which I now I lead a life of…what exactly?

Torture?

* * *

Perhaps I grew to like the silence that we all endured through our times in the service club, or maybe it was Yuigahama's attempts to get us all talking. Strangely enough those attempts would work and before we knew it, we were all social with one another. Whether it be Yui's cheerful expressions or Yukinoshita's teasing. Perhaps, it was now, while I was thinking this as I approached the doors to the club room, I began to start questioning what it was I exactly enjoyed at this club. Was it the fact that for once in my life I had people to converse with other then my family? Or, perhaps I simply didn't want to admit that deep down, I cared for the both of them. To which, something to this day may be worth doing. That being, to not come to terms with such feelings. For better, or worse.

In deep thought a sudden quick jab came from out of nowhere to my right shoulder. I quickly reacted with a small groan, to turn and see that it was Hiratsuka sensei.

"Hello Hikigaya! Quite late to be heading to club now, are we?" Hiratsuka said.

"Augh…sensei. Your punches are getting much stronger." I said rubbing my shoulder from the pain.

"Well, I do exercise from time to time." She said confidently.

Suddenly, a thought came to mind that Hiratsuka sensei goes to the gym, and boxes. Just boxes. Probably one hitting everyone that comes through her way. Oh, the pain the challengers must feel from her flashing bullets!

"Where were you coming from?" she questioned.

"Well, Isshiki-san told me about her…request." I answered still groaning from the pain.

"Hm hm! I see. Then I guess I can spare you the details of the ski trip."

Suddenly she fired three tickets from her pocket into her hand and followed with a "Ta-da!" Like how she was when she gave Yuigahama, Yukinoshita and I Chiba-land tickets. What was worse is that she did in some ninja stance. The type of stance you see characters make in shounen manga.

"…please stop that." I said annoyed and creeped out.

"Hm! I aim to annoy as you should already know!" she said standing regularly now.

True indeed. *I grab the tickets from sensei's hand with a slight expression of frustration, as I began to come to terms that Hiratsuka sensei agreed to such a request in the first place.

"What is it Hikigaya? Don't like ski-ing?" she questioned.

"Aside from the fact that I don't know HOW to ski. Well…I have a hard time believing that you would just confirm to help Isshki-san. There must have been something that made you make such a decision." I replied.

"That's true, there was in fact a reason I decided to help her if you will." she answered.

"Please don't tell me that love is the reason. Of all people, I thought you avoided to believe such things." I said so slightly annoyed and frustrated.

"It is. But. Not the way you were thinking." She said in a slight serious tone.

"Huh?" I said curiously.

"I want Isshki-san to realize for herself, how cruel love can be." She said in a much more serious tone.

To which after following of what she said I was a brief silence, as I did not what to say. It wasn't because of hearing those words from sensei's mouth, expecting logical conclusions and reasoning's from Hiratsuka was to be expected after all. Hell, she was the only person that thoroughly figured out my own logic and acted as an advisor to my own thoughts and actions, for she knew why I would make them in the first place. I was slowly coming to understand that Isshki's request wouldn't end in her being happy. Something that I thought was just my conclusion due to my pessimistic/realistic perspective. But for another to share my vision, only confirmed the likeliness of it happening.

"So. Basically, you want her to feel the pain of rejection." Which, she already has felt, I don't see why rejection would fix anything more.

"Some people need to feel the pain of rejection to open their eyes to the world, and realize that the world doesn't revolve around them. Or perhaps, it will be the people that reject them, show them how real the world is." She answered.

"Do you really think Hayama is capable of such doing?" I said.

"Who said anything about Hayama?" she answered.

There was a brief silence as I was for a loss of words. With a small smile that Hiratsuka stared at me, while I was speechless with my mouth open, I felt as if Hiratsuka sensei was hinting towards something that I did not want to come to terms with. And that's when suddenly, I started to feel it.

Fear. Surging through my heart and my veins, I felt as if a punch when to my stomach, my lungs and to every organ my body possessed. Or as if a fast spear went and stabbed me directly at the center of chest. Cold sweat began to form at the side of my head and I felt incredibly heavy. as if I weighed over 1000 pounds. You're probably thinking that was some reaction, perhaps deep down I had feelings for Isshki. That my body felt the so-called symptoms of what a person feels when there's love in the air. This was not love or anything like it, cause obviously that bullshit doesn't exist. No, this was something much crueller. For whatever it was, I knew one thing.

I was terrified, although I did not specifically what I was even terrified about, and that it made even more terrifying.

My breathing began to get shaky and I felt this surge of dizziness to my head. I felt as if I was going to faint, or worse, maybe even die. Then suddenly Hiratsuka sensei's two arms grabbed me, with her shouting.

"Ooh! Hikigaya! Stand up straight!"

Suddenly the fear began to go away and the breathing began to get back to normal, the dizziness was gone with a quick shake from Hiratsuka Sensei's arms, and I began to come to terms with what just happened. With sweat and quick breathes, I was having a hard time believing that such thing could take place. How could I react to such a thing based on an assumption that Hiratsuka sensei was making?

"Hikigaya! What just happened! You should lie down!" she said worried.

"Uh…n…no Sensei…I think I'm fine now…I…I just don't know what happened." I said reconfirming her.

She then slowly let go of me, I was standing up right and my face was probably less pale, I felt she was confident in having not to worry of my mental state.

"That's…awful strange to react to based on an assumption Hikigaya. I didn't think you'd react such a way."

"Well…I don't think that has anything to with it. I had a pretty small breakfast. Probably just hung-"

"Don't lie! Really, there's no need to lie at time like this! You could have fainted Hikigaya if I didn't grab you!" She interrupted.

I was then silent, still breathing irregularly, breathing completely normal after this point.

"Hikigaya, there's no need to worry. In the end, its YOUR feelings, right?"

"Sensei. Don't associate me with such emotions. I'm simply not like that. After a while any feelings I have towards the opposite sex are something but a mere fantasy for a lifeless loner like me. Like I said this has nothing to do with-"

"Hikigaya, you don't always have to act like things don't get to you. You think it makes you look tough but sometimes, you look really stupid." She interrupted.

"The fact that you think I'm trying to act tough is idiotic itself. I don't act the way I do to BE anything. I act the way I do because that's how I act. And, even if that's how you want to put it, for if its an act of being tough or stupid, I'd rather look really stupid then have conflicting thoughts of someone's feelings. Feelings… that don't matter to me."

Another silence was present as Hiratsuka was once again giving me that look she always gave me. That look where she was disgusted of my nature, my way of thinking, and my presence. I thought the way I did because it was the only way I got this far. I didn't believe in such feelings, more specifically I didn't believe that I could HAVE those feelings. Like most males in their teens years, they have conflicting thoughts of whether someone likes them, or if they like the other, for should they initiate on a relationship? Could it work out? Could something more be present? I didn't think any of this, because I didn't believe it really existed. I thought it was all fake, an act that people like to act out, to pretend their living in some fantasy in hopes of it coming true. Whether it be my worst quality, I don't care. It's that same ideology that has kept me going all this time. Perhaps it will be the only ideology present in my life from now on. And I'm absolutely fine with that.

"Well. It probably is Hayama anyway. But. If worst comes to worse. You will have to make a decision." She said slowly.

"What would you do then?"

 ****TO BE CONTINUTED, LATER UPDATED, READ BELOW****

* * *

 **I'd first like to say that I'm sorry for such a late update. With school and lots of other things going on in my life I haven't had time to write any fanfic, and I know there are a few of you who were wanting an update. For any of you who have noticed this chapter is very short, for this is only half of chapter 3, and I will update the chapter hopefully this coming weekend. Once again THANK YOU to those who have been waiting and have followed/favorite my fanfic. It means alot!**

 **For any new readers I'd like to say, Thank you for reading my this far! Feel free to follow/favourite or even review(review especially, it can be anything of you like or dislike, im open to all opinions.)**


	5. Chapter 3 and a half

**Chapter 3.5 ~**

 ** _"We're flawed because of the disgraceful and disgusting lies we tell ourselves. We choose to evade the truth because its comfortable and easy, and we run away from our problems because it's difficult to face them. Eventually, it leads to our downfall, and mine was just around the corner."_**

* * *

Ever thought about being in your own harem? Let me tell you something, something that's a bit silly to hear. Something that every teen boy will find almost impossible to believe.

Being in your own harem, is like being a trapped in a box that you will never escape from. The key is gone. It's torturing, because there's no way out. You're in an everlasting problem that there is no solutions for. A problem that will exist for as long as you live. A problem that, weirdly, shapes your entire life. Curse the rom-com gods.

I put this kind of thinking off. I never bothered to worry about things like this. It isn't like me. I look at the truth for what it is. I accept it and move on. But this time I didn't do it. Until now.

Yes. That's when I finally decided to accept it. That's, when I finally decided to come to the realization that I've been putting off ever since I entered that service club.

I, Hikigaya Hachiman, am in my own harem. Heh, every guys dream, eright?

Oh, but, I guess I can feel at ease now though! Now, it's guaranteed that I won't die alone! Finally! all my fantasies that I have will now come true! I'll be a guy in one of those generic couples you see out in public! I'll hold hands with that special someone, we'll watch movies together on weekends, we'll eat ice cream on a hot summer day, and as the ice cream melts, so will our hearts! Our hearts will melt in such gracious and beautiful youth. Oh man, not to mention all my sexual fantasies, things that I only wished that would happen in my wildest dreams!

I will be greeted every morning with 'Good morning!' from my dearly beloved, we'll dance in our feelings of love to each other, and sing our praises to one another! Oh but who is this special someone you ask?

I don't know, and I don't care, because believe it or not, this wasn't what I was thinking or worrying about, even though it should have been. Despite being grateful and thinking of all these things, im reminded of what pain will be brought with such a situation. That uncertainty of pain that will be brought upon those that I wish no harm because I chose someone else over them. My hope of not wanting to make anything worse then it already is. Friendship that turns into romance, only for me to alienate those that were once close to me. A closeness that I found annoying at first, but later grew to like.

The awkwardness of what was once a fine friendship, now turned into an uncomfortable memory, an experience that faded away because of an erroneous decision made from a teenage boy overdosed on serotonin. Being in your own harem is terrifying and unpleasant. You pick a person who is generous enough to feel something for you, and yet somehow, others you cared for end up heart broken over it. Depression begins, a sense of loss and pain across other hearts, other people you wanted to hurt the least. How silly all this melodrama is.

Hiratsuka-Sensei always had a way of getting to me. She called me out on my bullshit. How my way of thinking that I deemed logical was illogical. I didn't mind it. Something about her snarky wit and big breasts I suppose. I didn't mind being lectured. It was nice, and for once in my life, it felt good that someone cared to call out my unprocessed thinking on my high school life, to call me out when I thought I figured everything out. But, right now, I hated it. I would of preferred a thousand of her deadliest flashing bullet punches then to hear her ask me what my plan was for tackling my 'harem' situation.

In all this thinking, the only sentence my pathetic brain could come up with to answer Hiratsuka was,

"I don't know. I want to give you an answer…but I can't. I don't know right now."

Yeah. I'm in my own harem. My own teen romantic comedy. I have a big breasted red head who's cheery personality rubs off on me from time to time. I also got a cold headed intellect who calls me out on the most obscene things, but her honesty and passion makes me enjoy every second of it. I got an annoying sneaky fox that some how gets me to be involved in her love life doing all the dirty work. Do I even need to mention the trap? Or the sexy teacher right next to me? And let's not forget about my adorable sister Komachi!

Yes. That's why the fear hit me. I came to the realization that all of this was happening to me. This wasn't a dream. This was real.

But the truth is, I don't deserve it. I don't deserve to be the man in this wonderful scenario. Anyone but Hikigaya Hachiman deserves to be here right now. My story is silly, stupid and wrong, but that's to be expected.

* * *

 **Hello my 4 **6 followers! It's been nearly two years since I posted this fan fiction. Sorry for the hiatus. Due to personal** reasons **I stopped writing this. I** completley **forgot about my** fan fiction **account and discovered it recently.****

 **A part of me wants to try different things, but another part of me wants to keep going with this. This quick chapter I typed up is the direction I would like to go in. I've been reading the recent light novels that have been published by** **watari** ** **. While** im **grateful for his continuation, I still feel obligated to produce my own take of how Oregairu should end after watching it so many times.****

 **I know only a few people enjoy this fan fic, and that's okay. I'm grateful someone out there is enjoying this no matter how small or how little. To those who still are, I want to say a big thank you! If you liked this chapter, please feel free to review it. I plan to produce chapter 4 in the next few days.**

 **See you in the next one!**

 **~Kung**


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